Any Old Iron Harry Champion

[Verse 1]
Oh, just a couple o' weeks ago me poor old Uncle Bill
Went and kicked the bucket and he left me in his will
The other night I tottered 'round to see my Auntie Jane
Auntie said: "Your uncle left to you his watch and chain."
I put it on right across me vest
Thought I looked a dandy as it dangled on me chest
Just to flash it off I started walkin' 'round about
The kids were runnin' after me and they all began to shout

[Chorus]
"Any old iron? Any old iron?
Any, any, any old iron?
You look neat! Talk about a treat!
You look a dapper from your napper to your feet
Dressed in style wi' a brand new tile
And your father's old green tie on
I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch-chain
Old iron, old iron!"

[Verse 2]
Haha, I shan't forget when I got married to Selena Brown
The way the people laughed at me, it made me feel a clown
I began to wonder when the dial began to crack
By mistake I'd got me Sunday trousers front-to-back
I put the chain on my derby kell
The sun was shining on it, it made me look a swell
The organ started playing, the bells began to ring
Me chain began to rattle and the choir began to sing