[Verse 1: Mark Douglas as Louis Armstrong]
I've been gargling with broken glass
It helps my voice when I'm singing jazz

[Verse 2: Franchesca Ramsey as Billie Holiday]
Drinking wine makes singing jazz easy

[Verse 3: Todd Womack as Bob Dylan]
My singing coach couldn't hit no notes
Had a frog in his throat and he had a stroke
So I sing like this

[Verse 4: Mark Douglas as Joe Cocker]
What would you do if I puked on your shoes?
Would you be pissed off at me?

[Verse 5: Anastasia Douglas as Dolly Parton]
Did y'all ever notice that I sound like Butters?
Maybe I'll discover he's my long lost brother
My voice is high as Jesus in the sky

[Verse 6: Mark Douglas as Neil Young]
Jon Hamm, take a look at my wife
Do you think she's cute?
She has ruined my life, I want to give her to you
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