The Dark Town Poker Club Phil Harris

Bill Jackson was a poor old dub
Who joined the Darktown Poker Club
But cursed the day he told them he would join
His money used to go like it had wings
If he yelled queens, someone had kings
And each night he would contribute all his coin
Then he said I'm gonna play 'em tight tonight
He said there'll be no bobtail flushes make me bite
'Cause when I gets in them my hands will be a peach
And he played them tight but lost his pile
And Bill got peevish after a while
So he rose, looked all around, and made this speech

He said you all see this brand new razor
I had it sharpened just today
Now I'm coming in there with my rules
That you must follow when you play
Now keep your big bony hands on the table
While you dealing, please
And don't be slippin' them aces down there
Er, in between your knees
And don't be makin' all them funny signs
Like you tryin' to tip off your hand
Just talk in American, boy, American
So's I can understand
And don't be dealin' off the bottom
Because ooh that's rough
Take five, five, then stop, that's enough
Now when you bet put up the chips
Because I don't like it when you shy
Then if you get busted go on out and get some
I'm gonna be here by and by