friend a sorrow

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I got some words to speak
And sometimes it hurts to speak
My condition's worsening
Can't see the vision having blurry dreams
Surprised my demons haven't murdered me
I've been working hard but they don't really see it
You need a hero? well I try to be it
Always feeling so good but then I got defeated
Self-abuse and mistreatment going to the deep end
Don't know what I should believe in

Currently it's 3 am i'm alone
As the music playing
Typing all these words on my phone
In the house but it don't really feel like i'm home
Finding answers to the questions that'll never be known
I just wanna be the one that I need
I got a girl and in reality she's something to me
Try to speak to her, she start to get rat faces
Told me she ain't want me
Now I'm feeling like a friend, aye