She Got The Goldmine (I Got The Shaft) (1987) Jerry Reed (Ft. Dolly Parton)

[Intro: Jerry Reed]
Boys
This is your national anthem, okay

[Verse 1: Jerry Reed]
I guess it was back in '63
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me
And I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife

She said she would so I said "I do"
But I'da said "I wouldn't" if I'da just knew
How sayin' "I do" was gonna screw up all of my life

Now the first few years weren't all that bad
I'll never forget the good times we had
Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support

And it wasn't too long 'til the lust all died
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch

Well I tried to get in and she changed the lock
And I seen this note on the mailbox that said
"So long turkey. My attorney will be in touch"

Well, I decided right then and there
I was gonna be a nice guy and give her her fair share
Just didn't know her share was gonna be quite that much