Into the Shadows of My Embrace WHY?

[Verse 1]
I conquered my own childhood silence
And now the world is my lit confessional marquee
But it'd take a busload of high school sucker girls
To wash those hospitals off me

[Pre-Hook]
Oh, am I clean?
Nineteen
They said sex will keep you young and make you older at the same time
They said sex will have left you aged normally
A-And so I guess it's sorta like smoking and walking at the same time
In that it will have left you aged normally

[Hook]
Oh, am I clean?
Lord, please
Why me?

[Verse 2]
I wish I could feel close to somebody but I don't feel nothing
Now they say I need to quit doing all this random fff-
Now I think my upstairs neighbor hears me masturbating
And there's other ones peeping through the slips in my curtains
And I never got a name for my shady compulsion
Cause I messed up and kissed my shrink in a Jersey City hotel room
And I know saying all this is public should make me feel funny
But you gotta yell something out you'd never tell nobody