Kojak Columbo Harry Nilsson

[Intro]
Well, it's a little late for Christmas, but have one anyway
And while I'm on the subject, baby, have a happy birthday
How's your father? How's your mom?
Don't it make you itch a little, when you know they've got the bomb?
Boy, it's been weird out here lately, but I guess that's OK too
'Cause television is here to save us and tell us what to do

[Chorus]
Kojak, Kojak, Kojak, Columbo
Sell me an old one, sell me some gumbo
Tell me a new one, at least once a night
Show me an old one, but don't turn out your love light

[Verse]
You've got nineteen inches, baby, and that's a real good size
I could lie there on the floor and just look at you all night long
I could just twist your knobs right off and fool around with you
I don't need no TV guide to tell me what to do

[Chorus]
Kojak, Kojak, Kojak, Columbo
Sell me an old one, sell me some gumbo
Tell me a new one, at least once a night
Tell me an old one, but save out your love light