Billericay Dickie Ian Dury and the Blockheads

(spoken)
Good evening; I'm from Essex
In case you couldn't tell
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well

[Verse]
Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena

[Refrain]
Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And i'm doing very well

I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy