Sour Grapes [Legend of the Mix] [#] by Puscifer Puscifer

Hildy: Wish I had one of them horses that's on a stick. Put it between your legs... jump up and down with it. Those are fun!
Billy D: Hildy!
Hildy: Yeah, Billy D?
Billy D: I was perusing the interwebs the other day in search of new and interesting forms of pornography, and I came across something very interesting that juxtaposed against Aunt Mama's missionary position on alcohol
Hildy: Oh, she didn't like alcohol
Billy D: No she did not! But this here fact kind of undermines that position. Which... I assume is a bad position. The key figure in her mythology, a Mr. Jesus, apparently used to turn water into wine
Hildy: No shit?!
Billy D: Yes, and I have an idea; I'm looking around the room here I see a lot of people with Aquafina and I'm thinking... If we find Jesus and get him down here, we can take that Aquafina and turn it into wine, take this punk rock party up a notch. What do ya say?
Hildy: I say hey, Jesus!!

And behold there was an angel
And she took me by the hand
Led me deep into the chamber
Mother’s barely underground
I found comfort in this darkness
As a child in the womb
Unafraid my eyes were open
Silent angel filled the room
Then Mr. Jesus
(Hey Jesus!!)
Saved our party
(Hey Jesus!!)
With his wine
(Hey Jesus!!)
It's the legend of the sour grapes!