Clawfoot Pigeon Pit

Four legs bent over a clawfoot
Deluged in panic
Flower petals on my knees
A mosaic drenched in pink
And I wouldn't love you without your anger
But now you won't tell me what's wrong

It's been a while since I felt safe outside my bedroom
I know I can't make up my mind
But i'm a sunflower, all dried up and dead and burnt out
Overwhelmed by what i needed

Bathroom tiles carved into my knees
It breaks my heart to think, "is this conversation worth having?"
I know you're sick and tired of feeling stagnant
But your friends don't push you to grow
I know we could all use some validation

Between my pattern seeking paranoid defenses
And my capacity to change
I tried to loosen knots by pulling on them harder:
I didn't give myself no room to breathe

And you can fantasize in time things will work themselves out
Self medicate by running out of town
In neurotic desperation i seek out bodies of water
And learn to cry in total silence