*An interior of Springfield Elementary School appears as it slowly zooms in. Martin completes his book report, titled' 'An Afternoon With
Ernest Hemingway: Reflections by Martin", complete with beard and fishing pole props. Ms. Krabappel
gushes in admiration. Bart slips a packet on Martin's seat. "A little ketchup for your buns, Papa?"
(*splot*) Next up is Bart*
Bart: Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled! [walks to the front of the room] Well, as Mrs. Krabappel
already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island. It's about these ... [describing the
book jacket] pirates. Pirates ... with patclles over their eyes ... and... shiny gold teeth ... and green birds on
their shoulders... [pause] Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Lewis Stevenson?
And published by the good people at McGraw Hill. So, in conclusion, on the Simpson scale of one to ten,
ten being the highest, one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book. .. a rune. Any
questions? [hands go up1 Nope? Then I'll just sit down.
Ms. Krabappel: Did you actually read the book?
Bart: I am insulted. Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
Ms. Krabappel: Tell the class the name of the pirate.
Bart (thinking out loud): Blackbeard... Captain Nemo ...
Captain Hook... Long John Silver ... Pegleg Pete ... Bluebeard ...
Bart: Bluebeard..
After class ...
*Bart is shown after class writing this sentence over and over: "I will not fake my way through life."*
Ernest Hemingway: Reflections by Martin", complete with beard and fishing pole props. Ms. Krabappel
gushes in admiration. Bart slips a packet on Martin's seat. "A little ketchup for your buns, Papa?"
(*splot*) Next up is Bart*
Bart: Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled! [walks to the front of the room] Well, as Mrs. Krabappel
already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island. It's about these ... [describing the
book jacket] pirates. Pirates ... with patclles over their eyes ... and... shiny gold teeth ... and green birds on
their shoulders... [pause] Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Lewis Stevenson?
And published by the good people at McGraw Hill. So, in conclusion, on the Simpson scale of one to ten,
ten being the highest, one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book. .. a rune. Any
questions? [hands go up1 Nope? Then I'll just sit down.
Ms. Krabappel: Did you actually read the book?
Bart: I am insulted. Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
Ms. Krabappel: Tell the class the name of the pirate.
Bart (thinking out loud): Blackbeard... Captain Nemo ...
Captain Hook... Long John Silver ... Pegleg Pete ... Bluebeard ...
Bart: Bluebeard..
After class ...
*Bart is shown after class writing this sentence over and over: "I will not fake my way through life."*
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