Hey guys what's up? I'll, uh, try to keep the accent to a minimum, uh, I was going to tell you the new album sounds great, uh, but it sort of sounds a little "sequencey". Thanks
Hey Scott, it's Blake. Um, [?] kicking my ass, but uh, I ordered a pizza: all spinach, half jalapenos the way you like it. Anyway I'm flipping through the movie listings for tonight and uh, I've got it narrowed down to a few. I figured we could either go see "Death in Scarsdale" which is about a world-famous dermatological endocrinologist who becomes platonically obsessed with a boy he's treating for excessive perspiration, but then begins himself to suffer from excessive perspiration. Or we could go see "Very Small Flings", which is about the figure of Death presiding over the front entrance of a carnival sideshow whose spectators watch performers undergo unspeakable degradations so grotesquely compelling that the spectators' eyes become larger and larger until the spectators themselves are transformed into giant eyeballs in chairs; while on the other side of the sideshow tent the figure of Life uses a megaphone to invite fairgoers to an exhibition in which the fairgoers consent to undergo unspeakable degradations. They can witness ordinary persons gradually turn into gigantic eyeballs. If you don't feel like anything that heavy, we could go see, uh, "Three Chairs" - oh wait, that one's got Zack Clogman - we don't want to see that. I was thinking maybe we could go see "The Knight Wears a Sombrero", which is about a nearsighted apprentice cowpoke swearing vengeance for a gunslinger's rape for which he mistakenly believes is the motherly brothel owner that he is secretly in love with, but then he loses the trail of the gunslinger after misreading a road sign and is drawn to a sinister Mexican ranch where oedipally grieved gunslinger is richly blinded by a mysterious veiled nun. Um, I don't know, we could just go see a comedy also. Give me a call back, bye
Scott, this is David. Um right. I'm in a awkward position, that's difficult to explain. Um, I'm at a party and there's English girls crawling up and down the walls ... Um, I've gotta go fast. Uh, I hope I see you at the Masquerade, OK? Bye
Hey Scott, it's Blake. Uh, on second thought why don't we just go get drunk. OK, give me a call back, bye
[Local H:] this is Renaldo Limbaugh from Los Angeles; and I'm calling about playing bass for you guys. Dude, I like saw your show the other day and I noticed you only had like two people on stage or something and dude, I'm like the best in LA so, like, give me a call. My number is 818-562-25...4. OK dudes, rock on
Yeah, yeah um, this is a message for Local H. This is Elmore...Elmore Washterstrum and um, I just called to say I love you guys and also that you, um, you really inspire me and, um, I play guitar and I'm working on a riff right now, um, I wanted to play it for you, um, let me, let me put my phone in my amp here, um, hold on a minute. It mainly goes a little something Ive been working on it real hard butit goes something like this:
[Plays opening from "Bound for the Floor"]
I mean, that's all I have right now, but um, anyway I've been working on it and, anyway, I, that's all I have and, but you know, if you want to use it you can! Um, so, anyway I love you guys and uh, bye
Hey Scott, it's Juliana again. Um, I forgot to say that the other night I went to see the Food Fighters, and um, I was talking to their drummer, Taylor, and I was telling him that I needed a new bass player, and he said he was talking about he was recommending this guy named Tommy who used to be in Loud Lucy and, um, I was just wondering what's up with Tommy who was in Loud Lucy? Do you know that guy? You probably know them because they were Chicago people, right? Um, OK, what's the scoop on Tommy? Bye
Hi Joe, it's Jennifer; uh Julie and I were just calling to see if you made it home OK from your crazy night in Atlanta. Uh, give me a call when you get in, bye
Hey Joe, it's Mark. I talked to that one guy, I got that stuff from that one place and I'll be talking to this other guy the day after next about that other stuff you were talking about. Give me a call later, bye
Hey Scott, it's Nick. Um, listen, I found one of those Supero amps you were looking for. It's at this place in Atlanta called Midtown Music, and uh, the girl there ... her name is Jenny, you need to give her a call, it's 404-867-5309. Um, just give her a call, ask for Jenny, and um, she'll hook you up. See ya
Pick up the fucking phone Joe, I know you're there you fucking prick. You're fucking with the wrong person because I will fucking cut you you know this I will fucking cut you
Hey Scott, it's Blake. Um, [?] kicking my ass, but uh, I ordered a pizza: all spinach, half jalapenos the way you like it. Anyway I'm flipping through the movie listings for tonight and uh, I've got it narrowed down to a few. I figured we could either go see "Death in Scarsdale" which is about a world-famous dermatological endocrinologist who becomes platonically obsessed with a boy he's treating for excessive perspiration, but then begins himself to suffer from excessive perspiration. Or we could go see "Very Small Flings", which is about the figure of Death presiding over the front entrance of a carnival sideshow whose spectators watch performers undergo unspeakable degradations so grotesquely compelling that the spectators' eyes become larger and larger until the spectators themselves are transformed into giant eyeballs in chairs; while on the other side of the sideshow tent the figure of Life uses a megaphone to invite fairgoers to an exhibition in which the fairgoers consent to undergo unspeakable degradations. They can witness ordinary persons gradually turn into gigantic eyeballs. If you don't feel like anything that heavy, we could go see, uh, "Three Chairs" - oh wait, that one's got Zack Clogman - we don't want to see that. I was thinking maybe we could go see "The Knight Wears a Sombrero", which is about a nearsighted apprentice cowpoke swearing vengeance for a gunslinger's rape for which he mistakenly believes is the motherly brothel owner that he is secretly in love with, but then he loses the trail of the gunslinger after misreading a road sign and is drawn to a sinister Mexican ranch where oedipally grieved gunslinger is richly blinded by a mysterious veiled nun. Um, I don't know, we could just go see a comedy also. Give me a call back, bye
Scott, this is David. Um right. I'm in a awkward position, that's difficult to explain. Um, I'm at a party and there's English girls crawling up and down the walls ... Um, I've gotta go fast. Uh, I hope I see you at the Masquerade, OK? Bye
Hey Scott, it's Blake. Uh, on second thought why don't we just go get drunk. OK, give me a call back, bye
[Local H:] this is Renaldo Limbaugh from Los Angeles; and I'm calling about playing bass for you guys. Dude, I like saw your show the other day and I noticed you only had like two people on stage or something and dude, I'm like the best in LA so, like, give me a call. My number is 818-562-25...4. OK dudes, rock on
Yeah, yeah um, this is a message for Local H. This is Elmore...Elmore Washterstrum and um, I just called to say I love you guys and also that you, um, you really inspire me and, um, I play guitar and I'm working on a riff right now, um, I wanted to play it for you, um, let me, let me put my phone in my amp here, um, hold on a minute. It mainly goes a little something Ive been working on it real hard butit goes something like this:
[Plays opening from "Bound for the Floor"]
I mean, that's all I have right now, but um, anyway I've been working on it and, anyway, I, that's all I have and, but you know, if you want to use it you can! Um, so, anyway I love you guys and uh, bye
Hey Scott, it's Juliana again. Um, I forgot to say that the other night I went to see the Food Fighters, and um, I was talking to their drummer, Taylor, and I was telling him that I needed a new bass player, and he said he was talking about he was recommending this guy named Tommy who used to be in Loud Lucy and, um, I was just wondering what's up with Tommy who was in Loud Lucy? Do you know that guy? You probably know them because they were Chicago people, right? Um, OK, what's the scoop on Tommy? Bye
Hi Joe, it's Jennifer; uh Julie and I were just calling to see if you made it home OK from your crazy night in Atlanta. Uh, give me a call when you get in, bye
Hey Joe, it's Mark. I talked to that one guy, I got that stuff from that one place and I'll be talking to this other guy the day after next about that other stuff you were talking about. Give me a call later, bye
Hey Scott, it's Nick. Um, listen, I found one of those Supero amps you were looking for. It's at this place in Atlanta called Midtown Music, and uh, the girl there ... her name is Jenny, you need to give her a call, it's 404-867-5309. Um, just give her a call, ask for Jenny, and um, she'll hook you up. See ya
Pick up the fucking phone Joe, I know you're there you fucking prick. You're fucking with the wrong person because I will fucking cut you you know this I will fucking cut you
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