The Shit Song Loudon Wainwright III

When I run into friends of mine I haven't seen in years
They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears
Then they pronounce me 'looking great', I haven't changed a bit
I flash 'em back a feeble smile: I know I look like shit

'Cos I saw myself this morning, phew, and I know of what I speak
I'm a human being, but I look like I reek
And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it
'Cos the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like shit

Shit comes in different colours, and consistencies
I guess that I'm just aging like the finest wines and cheeses
The guy that's me, who's in my dreams, is twenty-five or six
I'm old enough to be his dad, how's that for parlour tricks?
Life's a job you're fired from, unless of course you quit
Gee, I wonder if that old blind guy knows that he looks like shit?

Let's ask him!

'Scuse me? No, over here!

Although I know it's natural, I still can't understand
Once I looked like a million bucks, now, more like two grand
We start out with a lot of time, but what happens to it?
Times flies when you fuck around and then you look like shit!