[RANDY, spoken] Welcome back. I am joined now by an old friend, Donald Trump. President. Still? [sigh] Okay. You've had a rough week now. For about a year. Um, why don't we start with some of the most recent natural disasters?
[TRUMP, spoken] Hurricanes
[RANDY, spoken] Actually, I was talking about your breath and your hair
[TRUMP, spoken] We started with Texas and Louisiana. Don't forget, Louisiana got hit hard. And I went to Texas and I went to Louisiana and met the people and I think it helped. And we got very high marks. We got A+'s
[RANDY, spoken] Good boy!
[TRUMP, spoken] And then the following week Puerto Rico got hit. And, if you remember, it went in and out, in and out three times
[RANDY, spoken] Well, let's not get into your sex life just yet. Let's first talk about all the negative press you received when you returned from Puerto Rico
[TRUMP, spoken] Well, I will say this: it's fake news. There's nothing else you can say about it. One example, they had these beautiful soft towels. Very good towels
[GUITAR RIFF]
[TRUMP, spoken] And I came in and it was a crowd of a lot of people. They were screaming and they were loving everything and we were, I was having fun, they were having fun. They said, throw 'em to me! throw 'em to me, Mr. President!
[RANDY, singing] Screwing it up since the election
Completely devoid of introspection, yeah
You're more abnormal than your pumpkin-like complexion
Oh, you are
As artificial as your own toupee
You're offensive in every way
Think you're pretty special but you're just a phony, phony
[TRUMP, spoken] Hurricanes
[RANDY, spoken] Actually, I was talking about your breath and your hair
[TRUMP, spoken] We started with Texas and Louisiana. Don't forget, Louisiana got hit hard. And I went to Texas and I went to Louisiana and met the people and I think it helped. And we got very high marks. We got A+'s
[RANDY, spoken] Good boy!
[TRUMP, spoken] And then the following week Puerto Rico got hit. And, if you remember, it went in and out, in and out three times
[RANDY, spoken] Well, let's not get into your sex life just yet. Let's first talk about all the negative press you received when you returned from Puerto Rico
[TRUMP, spoken] Well, I will say this: it's fake news. There's nothing else you can say about it. One example, they had these beautiful soft towels. Very good towels
[GUITAR RIFF]
[TRUMP, spoken] And I came in and it was a crowd of a lot of people. They were screaming and they were loving everything and we were, I was having fun, they were having fun. They said, throw 'em to me! throw 'em to me, Mr. President!
[RANDY, singing] Screwing it up since the election
Completely devoid of introspection, yeah
You're more abnormal than your pumpkin-like complexion
Oh, you are
As artificial as your own toupee
You're offensive in every way
Think you're pretty special but you're just a phony, phony
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