Ain’t Gonna Suck Itself Cracker

I say baby, it ain't gonna suck itself
Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself
I say baby, it ain't gonna suck itself
What 'chew waiting for? it ain't gonna suck itself

Well I flew out from Virginie on the very first day
I heard my record company exercise my pay to play
Went to see Mr. Lott but his assistant said no
"Security will escort you to the parking lot"

It was 102 degrees I was feeling kind of hot
So I walked across the street for one of those Mexican frozen popsicles
Couldn't buy just one so I bought myself a box
When I come back the assistant she's standing in the parking lot

No hard feelings do you want one of these?
But she looks at me like I was speaking Chinese
The security man walks up he helps himself to one
Coincidently Chinese and hot from standing in the sun

Then he helps himself to another he puts it in her hand
But she looks at it like it was a piece of crap
Or a dead and dying bird she didn't understand
So I was just trying to be helpful when I said...

Baby, it ain't gonna suck itself
Oh Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself
I beg to differ cousin, it should be, it ain't gonna lick itself
Ok we'll try it that way It ain't gonna lick itself