The First Step Will Wood and the Tapeworms

[Intro, spoken word in reverse]
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

[Verse 1]
You could say I’m plastered, ‘cause I hit the wall
I lost count after 21, in the college crawl
I been a boozin’ bastard, they’re callin’ me Edward Forty-hands, I can’t touch anyone
With an enemy like me, who would need a friend?
Never mind, I’m drunk

[Chorus]
Well we’ve had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken hearted
I’d try to see the glass as half full
But I’d probably just a-drink that too!
Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too!

[Verse 2]
Well, I’m the reason they call it an “Irish Goodbye”
And I hope I don’t choke on my vomit tonight
Well I bet that a bottle of brandy so bitter’d be better than bitin’ the bullet and betterin’ myself, sorry if I slur
Take my anxiety and my sobriety, I’ll kill two birds with one stoner
So if you see me, please take my keys, I don’t wanna be an organ donor

[Chorus]
Well we’ve had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken hearted
I’d try to see the glass as half full
But I’d probably just a-drink that too!
Glass half full, I'd probably just a-drink that too!