Furlough 4 Star View

A demon in my father’s eyes, the reason that my mother cries
I’ve got so far to go for good
A monster in a soft disguise, it fosters all this foolish pride
A cross to bear left where I stood

Break my spirit to see how it feels
Too calloused to fear it or how it heals
Another story forms the ideal
Just something to bury out in the field

Florescent with a dim surprise, guessing it’s all in their eyes
Sometimes I want out for good
Dramatic as the evening sky, emphatic with the whitest lie
The cross to bear now trickles blood

Break my spirit to see how it feels
Too calloused to fear it or how it heals
Another story forms the ideal
Just something to bury out in the field

She tried to shape me, make me better
I was a blanket getting wetter
Every word she said imploring, but new paths weren’t worth exploring
Lost my chance to try to meet her in the middle
Slipped into the ether
Slipping ever slowly past me snapping back like broke elastic
In the comfort of deranged become part of the sick change
In dying from this trying
In this furlough, rearrange
I tried my best to hurt you, never felt the threat of virtue
In a fountain near the ocean, saw a face there fully frozen
Daring me to dive back in to a sinful world of skin to swim
Wake up one day battered, know my actions never mattered
Flight stalling, ego falling, crashing back with clockwork clatter
Take this shovel and dig harder
Dig a hole and I’ll go farther
I won’t accept it or reject it, I’m just tinder for the starter
I’ll be here on the ground just wishing for the water