Porn Star Tits Eliza McLamb

When I was ten years old, a man on the internet
Told me I had porn star tits
I didn't know what that meant
But I knew he was getting off on it

So I wore a bikini top under my v-neck
Went to the mall to try on some makeup
Walked into GameStop looking for attention
But all I got was condescension

In seventh grade, I figured out
That my porn star tits are pretty powerful
They make boys be nice to me for a week

Then they trade that shit like Pokemon cards
Swapping my body with somebody else's
That's metrically hotter than mine
How can I, a seven, compete with all these nines?
(Dude, she thinks she's a seven)

Well, I guess I could steal their boyfriends
Or I guess I could go to church
I either play the whore or Madonna and I'm not sure which one's worse

Bought a pack of Marlboro Reds
'Cause I saw on Tumblr that's a pretty girl cigarette
Smoked one thinking it made me look cool
Then I threw it all up in the girls' bathroom at school