[Intro: Bo Burnham]
Thank you so much, I think that I probably should've, uh, ended it on a higher note
A big ending or whatever, but, uh...it's been "what.", I hope you liked it, but—
[Verse 1: Popular Girl]
Bo, oh my god
How are you? I haven't seen you since, like, Freshman year, oh my God!
You were so, like, skinny and weird back then, um...
But now you're, um...
Anyway, um, you should totally come to this party I'm having tonight with a bunch of my college friends
Um, it's gonna be off the chain-hook, it's gonna be so good
You can play some songs for us or something
Um, I've been telling everybody how good of friends we were, um, back in the day
Um, I know we never talked or hung out ever, but um...
I think that's what made our friendship so special, y'know?
Anyway, text me! Okay, bye
[Verse 2: Agent]
Mister Burnham
How ya doin', good? Good
Uh, I'm a, uh, I'm an agent from out in Los Angeles
Uh, really dig your stuff man, it's out there, you know, I totally get it
Uh, and the best part about it, man, you've got all these young fans, uh, and
Which is great, because young people, they're...
They're very passionate, and they're very, uh, they're very reliable consumers
But what you've gotta do to take your career to the next level?
You've gotta cater more heavily to them, alright?
We've done studies, young people do not respond to this...
You know, "introspective" material, or these "challenges-to-the-form", you know...
Young people want jokes they can relate to, okay?
So, write a—write a silly song about Facebook, you know?
Write some jokes about Twitter, or...or sugary cereals, or...razor scooters
Relate to them!
You know, also, you've gotta reestablish your presence on the internet, buddy
Alright, it's not important whether your material's "good" or not
What's important is that you keep the Bo Burnham brand alive and well
Ya get it?
But we'll discuss more later, I know it's a lot
Uhh, my number is, uh, 310-555-...uhh, imaginary number
Thank you so much, I think that I probably should've, uh, ended it on a higher note
A big ending or whatever, but, uh...it's been "what.", I hope you liked it, but—
[Verse 1: Popular Girl]
Bo, oh my god
How are you? I haven't seen you since, like, Freshman year, oh my God!
You were so, like, skinny and weird back then, um...
But now you're, um...
Anyway, um, you should totally come to this party I'm having tonight with a bunch of my college friends
Um, it's gonna be off the chain-hook, it's gonna be so good
You can play some songs for us or something
Um, I've been telling everybody how good of friends we were, um, back in the day
Um, I know we never talked or hung out ever, but um...
I think that's what made our friendship so special, y'know?
Anyway, text me! Okay, bye
[Verse 2: Agent]
Mister Burnham
How ya doin', good? Good
Uh, I'm a, uh, I'm an agent from out in Los Angeles
Uh, really dig your stuff man, it's out there, you know, I totally get it
Uh, and the best part about it, man, you've got all these young fans, uh, and
Which is great, because young people, they're...
They're very passionate, and they're very, uh, they're very reliable consumers
But what you've gotta do to take your career to the next level?
You've gotta cater more heavily to them, alright?
We've done studies, young people do not respond to this...
You know, "introspective" material, or these "challenges-to-the-form", you know...
Young people want jokes they can relate to, okay?
So, write a—write a silly song about Facebook, you know?
Write some jokes about Twitter, or...or sugary cereals, or...razor scooters
Relate to them!
You know, also, you've gotta reestablish your presence on the internet, buddy
Alright, it's not important whether your material's "good" or not
What's important is that you keep the Bo Burnham brand alive and well
Ya get it?
But we'll discuss more later, I know it's a lot
Uhh, my number is, uh, 310-555-...uhh, imaginary number
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