Handy "Weird Al" Yankovic

[Verse 1]
First things first, I'm a craftsman (Craftsman)
Remodelling is my only passion (It's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
My clientèle will bear you witness (Right, right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted (hey hey hey)
Just one name that's always trusted

[Chorus]
I'm so handy, you already know
I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets overflow
I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's about to explode

[Verse 2]
Now you say that your furnace is needing some service
I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer-dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure's too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot
Because your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique
Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one