Peculiar, Missouri Willi Carlisle

So we're driving home after many months away
'Bout to pass through Peculiar, Missouri as we do always
It's right before we hit the loving cradle of those hills of home
Now let me tell you, there's nothing weird about Peculiar, Missouri
Hell, you can look it up, it's an old railroad town
That turned into a suburb that begat an exurb
That turned into a certifiable USDA small town anywhere
Everywhere, USA
You know
You've been there, even if you haven't been

Yeah, if America had a great big waiting room
It'd be somеwhere in the Midwеst
And if that waiting room had a single crusty-ass magazine in it
Golf Digest or something
You could open to the centerfold and find a teeny tiny ad for this hamlet of Peculiar
Proudly proclaiming, "Where the odds are with you"
It's not weird to love it here

So friend, come on, lets pull off the highway here
Let's get a little rest before a long night of driving
We've been sleeping in the saddle for a few days now and I'm spent
Woah, look out for that pickup truck!
Goddang, people drive crazy around here
Hang a ricky here, a starboard, yeah, there you go
Although I bet you know where we're going already
Yeah, short of any public amenities
It's about the only place you can rest and get a bite to eat past sundown in a little town like this
And there's no public library, no YMCA, and, uh
The liquor store's closed at sundown
So it's looking like the Walmart
Yeah, we got a standing invitation to the hideous halogen bulbs of that all night wally world
Where an uneasy truce abides between the traveling kind and the megacorporations that deign to make it so
So we're gonna jump in there, we're gonna have ourselves a little party