Nightmare Before Christmas Ray Stevens

Twas the night before Christmas
And I'd gone to bed late
Lord only knows how much pizza I ate

Christmas Eve I dreamed that Santa was arrested
Yeah, they handcuffed him and they hauled him off to jail
Christmas Eve I dreamed that Santa was arrested
For crimes so bad they held him without bail

Cruelty to Reindeer was the first charge that they read
We got there just in time your Honor
He had nine of them hitched to a heavy sleigh
And abuse is indicated ones got a nose that's awfully red
And the prosecution had only just begun
Osha closed his workshop down for safety violations
And there product liability claims for every toy built since creation
We found out he hires only Elf's and of course that's discrimination
He'll be put away for life before we're done
That sled is not air worthy
The faa won't certify
He's over sixty with corrected vision therefore he should not fly
Why this could be the trail of the century
There's over ten billion instances of unlawful entry

Christmas Eve I dreamed that Santa was arrested
And not only for the things they claimed he did
Christmas Eve I dreamed that Santa was arrested
For being a poor roll model for kids