Don’t Be a Villain Victor Herbert

We are a pair of villains
We're the worst you ever saw
We're trying hard to break in jail
We've broken ev'ry law
The jails are so exclusive
Now it really is a sin
You have to bribe the keepers
Or they will not let you in
If you have no money
They will throw you out
We killed a doll a year ago
We stabbed it with a gun
They wouldn't lock us up
Because they didn't see it done
We're pirates, and we're burglars
And we kill folks now and then
But otherwise, we are a pair
Of strictly moral men
And that is why we're free
To roam about

Don't be a villain, boys
For crime is bound to fail
'Twill cost you all your earnings
To stay a week in jail
Don't be a villain, boys
Unless it's in a play
Oh, do not be a villain for
You'll find it does not pay