We are a pair of villains
We're the worst you ever saw
We're trying hard to break in jail
We've broken ev'ry law
The jails are so exclusive
Now it really is a sin
You have to bribe the keepers
Or they will not let you in
If you have no money
They will throw you out
We killed a doll a year ago
We stabbed it with a gun
They wouldn't lock us up
Because they didn't see it done
We're pirates, and we're burglars
And we kill folks now and then
But otherwise, we are a pair
Of strictly moral men
And that is why we're free
To roam about
Don't be a villain, boys
For crime is bound to fail
'Twill cost you all your earnings
To stay a week in jail
Don't be a villain, boys
Unless it's in a play
Oh, do not be a villain for
You'll find it does not pay
We're the worst you ever saw
We're trying hard to break in jail
We've broken ev'ry law
The jails are so exclusive
Now it really is a sin
You have to bribe the keepers
Or they will not let you in
If you have no money
They will throw you out
We killed a doll a year ago
We stabbed it with a gun
They wouldn't lock us up
Because they didn't see it done
We're pirates, and we're burglars
And we kill folks now and then
But otherwise, we are a pair
Of strictly moral men
And that is why we're free
To roam about
Don't be a villain, boys
For crime is bound to fail
'Twill cost you all your earnings
To stay a week in jail
Don't be a villain, boys
Unless it's in a play
Oh, do not be a villain for
You'll find it does not pay
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