Eddie the eunuch was a weasel
Nasty as an old man's nose
Making believin' he was evil
Struttin' in his mama's clothes
You know that Eddie had a bad connection
Never had a chance to ball
Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby
Dreaming he was ten feet tall
But now Eddie the eunuch is a rock and roll critic
Sucking like a super star
Slicker than a shoe-shine
Quicker than a two-time
Eddie what a thang you are
Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby
Putting other people down
Eddie couldn't ever forgive them baby
'cause he wasn't Jackson Browne
Nasty as an old man's nose
Making believin' he was evil
Struttin' in his mama's clothes
You know that Eddie had a bad connection
Never had a chance to ball
Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby
Dreaming he was ten feet tall
But now Eddie the eunuch is a rock and roll critic
Sucking like a super star
Slicker than a shoe-shine
Quicker than a two-time
Eddie what a thang you are
Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby
Putting other people down
Eddie couldn't ever forgive them baby
'cause he wasn't Jackson Browne
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