My Father’s Sacred Sword Louie Zong

I am on a quest
For my father's sacred sword
Unparalleled in craftsmanship in all the land
The blade, the blade!
Sharper than a dragon's fangs
Cuts through foes like a big knife through a ham

All i ever wanted was to fill his giant shoes
I'll retrieve his sacred blade, there's no way that I could lose!
.....Wait, what?

What do you mean?
You're telling me he stole it from a guy when he wasn't looking?
What do you mean?
You're telling me my father was a lousy good-for-nothing?
No, I don't believe you!
Foul demon begone

So you're telling me -
That he stole a sword to impress the ladies?
And furthermore -
That he was a no good crook who would steal from a baby?
No, I don't believe you!
Lying beast begone!

I am on a quest for my father's sacred blade
I know it's so strong and so cool
People lie and besmirch my father's name -
Bronkius Bonehead, The Village Fool
(God rest his soul)