There Must Be a Pill for This Ray Stevens

Well, I was sittin' in the bathtub in the middle of the woods
When I looked over to see
A beautiful woman in another bathtub
Sittin’ right next to me
As our hands reached out and our fingers met
I said to myself, "Hey, self, I'll bet
Here's something I don’t want to miss
And I'll bet there's a pill for this"

Oh, there must be a pill for those times
When you want to feel fully alive
And you're not quite sure if you're up to the job
When the moment does arrive
But I've been told time and time again
That misery can turn to bliss
Whatever ill is ailing you
Well, there's gotta be a pill for this

If your heart can't beat or your eyes can’t see
And your ears can’t hear and your mind ain't free
And your nose is runny and your lips can’t kiss
Well, there must be a pill for this
If you have trouble eating or gaining weight
And you wake up early or sleep too late
If there's temptation you need to resist
Well, there's gotta be a pill for this