Concert Monologue Bette Midler

[Interlude]
You know
You know sometimes
Sometimes people say to me
"Rose"
Thank you
"When's the first time you ever heard the blues?"
And you know what I tell them?
I tell them, "The day I was born"
You know why? You know why?
'Cause I was born a woman
Ah!
Oh! We got some noisy females in the house tonight!
I do like to hear that high-pitched sound, you know? I do
Oh, being a woman is so interesting, don't you find it?
What are we ladies, what are we?
We are waitresses at the banquet of life!
Get into that kitchen and rattle them pots and pans
And you better look pretty goddamn good doing it, too
Or else you gon' lose your good thang
Oh, and why do we do that? Why do we do that?
I'll tell you why we do that, we do that to find love
Oh, I love to be in love, don't you love to be in love?
Ain't it just great to be in love?
Oh, ain't it wonderful?
Isn't it wonderful to be in love?
Ain't it just grand laying there late at night in your bed waiting for your man to show up?
And when he finally does, know, 'bout four o'clock in the morning
With whiskey on his breath
And the smell of another woman on his person
Oh honey, I can smell another woman at five hundred paces
That's a easy one to catch
So what do you do when he comes home with the smell of another woman on him?
Do you say, "Oh, honey, let me open up my loving arms and my loving legs
Dive right in, baby, the water is fine"
Is that what you say, girls?
Or do you say, "Pack your bags
I'm putting on my little waitress cap and my fancy high heel shoes
I'm gonna go find me a real man, a good man, a true man
A man to love me for sure?"
You know I'll tell you something
I'll tell you something
I thought at one time
I actually thought I found myself one, I did
I thought I found myself one
When he, when he—