Christmas Tales D12
"Christmas Tales" by D12, released in 2001, is a #HipHop track that blends humor with holiday themes. The lyrics recount festive experiences and childhood memories, juxtaposing joyous celebrations with darker realities. Unique elements include playful storytelling and clever wordplay, reflecting D12's distinctive style. The song highlights the contrast between the holiday spirit and personal struggles, resonating with listeners during the festive season.
(Intro:)
So everybody (Everybody)
Hope you know there's no Santa Claus
You know they lying to us all
Don't no fat man give out toys, y'all
(Verse 1: Kuniva)
Now I remember Christmas, waking up in pissy pajamas
I never would've guessed that Santa Claus was my Mama
That's fucked up, I thought lying was bold (That was different!)
But this fucking lie is twelve years old
All the time we was making them cookies and burning brownies?
Making sure I was asleep
Sending my brother to spy on me was bullshit? (Hell Yeah)
What you mean stop cursin'? I can say it again
Damn, ain't lyin' a sin?
Don't get me wrong - I appreciate the shit you bought me
But don't you think it goes against everything you taught me?
Be honest; tell the truth; It'll set you free
A fat white man with no heat on this street? (Nigga, please!)
I done sat on this motherfuckers lap with his sack
Telling him that I've been good and all of that
You mean to tell me all of that was an act? Y'all some hoes
Wait a minute, don't take my toys back! That's not cool!
(Verse 2: Bizarre & Kuniva)
Sorry kids, out here, your daddy's broke
'Cause my check's late from Interscope (Sorry)
I wanted to buy you a G.I. Joe and a stuffed bunny
I got $500 but that's my weed money (Gotta smoke!)
Plus your momma just booked and gone
Fuck christmas, I'm tryna keep the heat and lights on, damnit
Man, I thought you got two Gs from The Eminem Show
It's already gone - I owed it to D-Bo (My money, punk!)
And I ain't got the video game that you wanted
Here's your Double Dribble on Atari 2600 (Aw, daddy)
You know Bizarre don't celebrate holidays
I'll buy you a pound of weed on your next birthday (Hahahaha)
So everybody (Everybody)
Hope you know there's no Santa Claus
You know they lying to us all
Don't no fat man give out toys, y'all
(Verse 1: Kuniva)
Now I remember Christmas, waking up in pissy pajamas
I never would've guessed that Santa Claus was my Mama
That's fucked up, I thought lying was bold (That was different!)
But this fucking lie is twelve years old
All the time we was making them cookies and burning brownies?
Making sure I was asleep
Sending my brother to spy on me was bullshit? (Hell Yeah)
What you mean stop cursin'? I can say it again
Damn, ain't lyin' a sin?
Don't get me wrong - I appreciate the shit you bought me
But don't you think it goes against everything you taught me?
Be honest; tell the truth; It'll set you free
A fat white man with no heat on this street? (Nigga, please!)
I done sat on this motherfuckers lap with his sack
Telling him that I've been good and all of that
You mean to tell me all of that was an act? Y'all some hoes
Wait a minute, don't take my toys back! That's not cool!
(Verse 2: Bizarre & Kuniva)
Sorry kids, out here, your daddy's broke
'Cause my check's late from Interscope (Sorry)
I wanted to buy you a G.I. Joe and a stuffed bunny
I got $500 but that's my weed money (Gotta smoke!)
Plus your momma just booked and gone
Fuck christmas, I'm tryna keep the heat and lights on, damnit
Man, I thought you got two Gs from The Eminem Show
It's already gone - I owed it to D-Bo (My money, punk!)
And I ain't got the video game that you wanted
Here's your Double Dribble on Atari 2600 (Aw, daddy)
You know Bizarre don't celebrate holidays
I'll buy you a pound of weed on your next birthday (Hahahaha)
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