Half-Life Dan Bull

[Verse 1]
Good to meet you, cordial greetings (Hi!)
They call me Gordon Freeman
And up until this morning
I was an ordinary normal human
Eating and reading the ingredients on a box of cereals
Then heading off to the Office of Anomalous Materials
Realise I’m late so I’ll have to catch you later
Gotta catch a train to Black Mesa’s anti-mass chamber
Put on my hazmat in case the vat breaks ‘cause that’s dangerous
You’d have to evade the blast radius of a resonance cascade that’s
The last stage of –
Ah, ahh! It’s . . . it’s actually, it’s actually happening
Th-this is not good! This is – shit
Wake up in the chamber with a bad head
Everybody in the lab dead
I better had fled, this is dead rad
Get it? Dead rad, hit a headcrab
With a crowbar, I’m a lonestar
Yo, guard! Gotta go, but I’ll owe you a postcard
Oh darn! Life is so hard, with no halves
Let alone half, like a diet with low carbs
But I like it so far
Life now has a worth and a purpose
Find out what on earth is occurring
Wipe out any vermin that’s stirring
Fly now to the surface and hurrry
There’s a person that’s lurking, queer
Think I’ve seen him working here
Gee, man, I’m not really certain what he’s observing
But I’m going to persevere, though I’m mere-
Ly an engineer, I’ll end your career