Talkin’ Candy Bar Blues Peter, Paul and Mary

(spoken story with guitar accompaniment)
Bought a candy bar the other day
Only ate half, s'gonna throw the rest away
When I saw this kid playin' in the street
I said "Hey kid, you want somethin' to eat?"
He said "Whut?"
I said "Candy, son." He said "HELP!"
Then he started to run
And I stood there
Watchin' him go
Half a bar of chocolate
Runnin' down my fingers

Well the kid comes back in a minute or two
But his mom's with him and the neighbors too
And they got the kid scared it's plain to see
They say "Which one done it?" he points at me
He says "Him". I say "What do you mean?"
He says "YOU!" then he starts to scream
And I'm standin', everybody's lookin'
Everybody's starin' -at me- ... (nervous laugh)

"Howdy doody...y'all waitin' for the bus?
Ah ... a little late isn't it ... anybody got a watch? ...
We could uh see how late it is ...
I got a better idea, let's find somebody with a watch
And stare at him!"