[Verse 1: Wilbur Soot]
Life isn't quite what I thought I'd be
When I was a kid on VoIP
I thought when I get older
I'd marry her, I told her
Now I'm twenty-six and I work in an office
Nine till five's not the best, I'll be honest
If I could change a single thing
I'd make it me and not him
[Chorus: Wilbur Soot]
But he's in your bed, I'm in your Twitch chat
I've got the key and he's just a doormat
And even though he's got social skills
That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills
Anyway, make the most of him
'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh
Your new boyfriend's an arsehole
(Woo)
[Verse 2: Wilbur Soot]
And yeah, I've met Jared (Of course I've met Jared)
The one who took you away from me
You hit it off instantly
I know, 'cause you won't stop telling me
I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles
Push against his fashion sense
I've thought about what he looks like nude
I'm not gay, though
Life isn't quite what I thought I'd be
When I was a kid on VoIP
I thought when I get older
I'd marry her, I told her
Now I'm twenty-six and I work in an office
Nine till five's not the best, I'll be honest
If I could change a single thing
I'd make it me and not him
[Chorus: Wilbur Soot]
But he's in your bed, I'm in your Twitch chat
I've got the key and he's just a doormat
And even though he's got social skills
That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills
Anyway, make the most of him
'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh
Your new boyfriend's an arsehole
(Woo)
[Verse 2: Wilbur Soot]
And yeah, I've met Jared (Of course I've met Jared)
The one who took you away from me
You hit it off instantly
I know, 'cause you won't stop telling me
I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles
Push against his fashion sense
I've thought about what he looks like nude
I'm not gay, though
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