Santa Hates Poor Kids Your Favorite Martian

[Verse 1: Puff Puff Humbert]
I really hate it that my family's poor; I really wish I was a rich kid
'Cause they always get all the pimped gifts for Christmas
Did I get a new Xbox? Fat chance
While Billy gets a new pony and a lap dance
Plus a tree house mansion and a jet ski
How the hell'd he get a pterodactyl? (Gets me)
I thought Christmas was awesome, on and poppin'
Till Jane got a slave and Google stock options
And I don't think you understand how it feels
To see another kid roll up in his Bentley Power Wheels like:
"Look at my new ride; Santa just bought it
He didn't get you nothing 'cause your mom's an alcoholic"
He's right, I got some underwear used by my brother
I'm like Oliver Twist, "Please may I have another?"
I opened up a present, and found an eviction notice
Man, fuck you, Santa! We're spending Christmas with the homeless!

[Chorus: Benatar]
Santa must hate the poor kids
'Cause Santa only hangs with the rich (Come on)
Santa hates poor kids
Santa hates poor kids
And if you ain't got money then he ain't coming
Nothing under your tree tonight