Ascending/FALLING Itha¢a

- Part 1 -
[Verse]
Uh, uh
I started from the bottom, now we here
Where? Nowhere
Ten toes planted still, shoot at will, hope it kills
Spray and pray the days away until it pays the bills
I'm not sure what's real, both hands on the wheel
Being dead's my only fuckin' skill
Could be starrin' in a movie, but I feel retarded
And the mirror tellin' me that I am not a role model
My whole life or the beer bottles
My whole life or the lost lottos
Leave that bitch in the hotel lobby and don't look back, that's my motto
But lately I been fallin' for these hoes
Got this one girl, think she mean my whole world
Come to think about it, never felt in a minute
Come to think about it, never fell for a woman
Legitimately grittin' my teeth
Losin' sleep, jealousy, balls deep in grief
How am I gettin' soft? Nah, I got a hard-on
Maybe I just need relief
So conflicted lately, should I call her? Maybe
Should I call her "baby"?
Thinkin' is killin' me, my sickenin' thoughts are gettin' the best of me
As for the rest of me, my whole body feelin' numb
I been crumblin' to crumbs, I'm feelin' dumb
This shit is daily routine now
Got a feelin' it's gonna go down south
I been in it for a minute
Now I'm thinkin' that there's never been a moment in my life like this
Could it be forever? Could I die like this?
Can I really live my whole life like this?