The Speed Test Original Broadway Cast of Thoroughly Modern Millie (Ft. Marc Kudisch & Sutton Foster)

[MR. GRAYDON, spoken]
Take a letter. To a Mr. John Hudson, Hudson's Floor Wax. You will find an invoice in the file for the address. "Dear Mr. Hudson," colon:

(sung)
My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
So I'm writing you a letter to demand an explanation

When the floor wax that we bought from you arrived here Monday morning
We discovered upon usage that the fumes should have a warning

Since the only possibility is that your wax is rancid
I request a full refund of all the money we advanced

And unless you can convince me you've improved the floor wax batter
We will take our business elsewhere, so, I hope you solve this matter

(spoken)
How's my speed, Miss Dillmount?

[MILLIE, spoken]
A little slow, perhaps

[MR. GRAYDON, sung (faster)]
Ah!
Enclosed you'll find a small container of the stuff I talk about
Just carefully remove the lid and take a whiff if you've a doubt
I'm sure you wouldn't want me to alert the daily papers
With the news of how our office was affected by your vapours