Bum Biddy Adam Sandler (Ft. Alison Krauss, Chance Langton, Jason Houseman, John Farley, Jon Lovitz, Lainie Kazan & Rob Schneider)

[Davey]
Everyone in this room has been associated with Whitey
Either through basketball or the mall or various odd jobs he does around town
For free or at most a dollar
And I'm guessing 99% of you have either laughed in Whitey's face
Or ruthlessly made fun of his feet or voice or sister
Or shortness when he wasn't looking
But the next time you'd see him
He'd still go out of his way to smile and wave at you
And ask you about your mother's operation or something like that
Because he, unlike us, actually cares about someone other than himself
The reason I bring this up to you is because I was the worst offender of all

[Davey]
My life was simply going nowhere
Then a tiny little man rushed to my side
He should've gotten a big thank you
Instead he got a Porta-Potty ride
I was such a shithead
But he never quit on me
'Til I told him he was useless
And his sister was freaky

[Cop]
Once when we were watching Sunday football
A fuzzy screen was all that we could see
Whitey came over with a hanger
And spent the game atop our T.V
And when the lightning struck him
He let out a wicked, loud yell
But we just turned up the volume
And ignored the burning smell
We should all rot in hell