Trauma Ekoh

[Verse]
Maybe I just feel this shit more than most
Maybe I've been tryna find my way out of this hole
Haven't talked to Mom, it's been a year
For all I know she could be dead
And I'd be lyin' if I said there ain't relief in thinkin' that
Love has been a delicate dance, I never learned well
Don't know how to act havin' money, I never earned well
Feels like if I don't fuck it up then the world will
Did all that I set out to do, why do I hurt still?
It seems the further I get the more I close
Wall's off to anybody who wants to know me
Outsidе of this persona grata I try to show
I could post a reel but it's probably the furthest from rеal, yo
It isn't all about the number's and the glitz
And we always say what life ain't but don't know what it is
I don't know what I'm chasin' or tryin' to prove
Put another bandage on a bullet hole to fix the wound
Just consumed with these thoughts tryna fight 'em off
I quit the drugs but the biggest addiction is that inner dialogue
The vulnerability, the path to real connection
But I'm stressed and I don't want to open up to anybody
Especially those I have to trust
I've been burnt already once, twice, fuck it, a hundred
But always thought that was a normal life
Because it's normal right?
For you to grow up thinkin' you're the only one you can depend on after all these nights alone
Police on the phone
Either brothers suicide attempts or your mom's overdosed
Four dad's came and went
Either disappeared or died from the bottle they were sinkin' in
Even then you still justify it like it's okay
Bein' ignored and when you do, well you feel ashamed
'Cause they got real problems
How the fuck do you complain?
Now if someone says you're important, you just pull away