Political Bum Psychostick

I was taking a walk during my lunch break, and I came across a man in a dirty brown jacket covered with many political bumper stickers that had contradicting slogans. He looked me right in the eye, and then he said:

Keep it down, the FBI is watching me
They bugged my lunchbox because I know their filthy schemes
They're going door to door and taking everybody's jobs
The CIA gave me LSD

Political bum, Political bum
He's got his opinions and a bottle of rum
He used to be a hippie now he lives on the streets
Striking up debates with everyone that he meets, wow yeah

Political bum, political bum
Political
Political bum, political bum
Political

I tried to get away, but he followed me, holding up his sign that said, "Will eat for food." My avoidance seemed to fuel his passion, and I braced myself for another barrage of confusing rhetoric

I lost my balls to a bomb in Koreatnam
They have a sex tape with Kim Jon Ill and Uncle Sam
Mountain Dew is a fundamental human right
You sank my partisanship

The sun was beginning to set at this point, and I could tell that he was just getting warmed up. Insane or not, you had to admire his dedication to his ideals. Whatever they are