Just a Few Things That I Ain’t The Beautiful South

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[Verse 1]
When you called me a useless druggie
At least you got half of it right
When you called me a hopeless alcoholic
I'm only hopeless after nine at night

And when you said I came staggering home blind drunk
If I didn't, you'd get terrible fright
And if this is the land of hope and glory
Where's the land of hope but not quite?

[Chorus 1]
I've been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someone's bin bag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing

I've been bad man, sad man, certified mad
But never 007 or saint
Trendsetter, go-getter, international jet setter
Are just a few things that I ain't

Trendsetter, go-getter, international jet setter
Are just a few things that I ain't...

[Verse 2]
The time you told class I was a half-wit
Was my very first 50%
Previous best in any other test
Was either stolen, copied, or lent