(Intro)
A prisoner to rapture by arduous duty pressed
A slave to the longing which lingers in my breast
Farewell, my friends, adieu
I cannot stay with you
Farewell, farewell, farewell
(Verse 1)
Before I deliver my seventh encore
There's something I'd like to make clear
They say I've brought pleasure to millions or more
They say that my singing half won the last war
When I sang to the troops in the rear
I'm a dame with a name
At the peak of my fame
I'm known as the Empress of Song
The critics bravo
And the critics should know
But I cannot help feeling they're wrong
I'm lauded, applauded, recorded, but list!
I've a musical flaw that they seem to have missed
That they seem to have missed
That they seem to have missed
(Chorus 1)
I'm tone deaf
Music means nothing to me
It's only the way
My accompanists play
That makes it appear I'm in key
Stone tone deaf
Can't tell a key from a clef
I stand by the pianist watching his face
For he's told me to start when he comes to the place
Where he'll give me a whacking great (*discordant crash in the piano*) in the bass
Because I'm tone deaf
