Monty Mundy (Is Maltese)! Joe Jackson

Now who's the strangest bloomin' creature in the world today?

Assumin' that he's humin, we're not sure what else to say

You might say that he looks a proper Swede

With yellow hair and eyes of baby blue

But there's no use complainin'

If he says he's Medit'rain-yin

Then it's true!

Who wears big baggy trousers, with a sash around the waist

And lives on snails and rabbit stew, regardless of the taste

He wears a Maltese hat upon his head

What's different to a turban or a fez

There may be a point we're missin'

So maybe we ought to listen

What he says

Which is:

It takes all kinds - of people in the world

And some of them are chalk and some are cheese

So change your minds - and hats off if you please

'Cause Monty Mundy is Maltese

Who wants us all to fly his flag - a spiky little cross

And vows he's from Valletta, so you'd betta - he's the boss!

He swears he's from a southern land of sun

Although his skin's an English shade of pale

And you can see him pout

When people try to work it out

And when they fail