I Am a Thoughtful Guy Rhett and Link

[Interlude: Rhett and Link]
I am a thoughtful guy. I think about a lot of things
I am a thoughtful guy. I think a lot of thoughts; about a lot of things

[Verse 1: Rhett and Link]
I think about space and the vastness of it
I think about cake and how much I love it
I think about if Walmart is good or evil
I think tattoos are cool on other people
I think about the unexplored depths of the ocean
I think about the difference in ointment and lotion
I think about if I should wax my back
I think a handful of nuts is a healthy snack

[Interlude: Link]
I am a thoughtful guy
Right now I'm thinking about the millions of microorganisms living on my body
It's like I'm a mothership, a 100% male mothership

[Verse 2: Rhett and Link]
I think about how I could get on the local news
If I strolled into a McDonald's and stripped down nude
I think about a hotdog while I'm eating it
But then I pause, 'cause I'm thinking about its ingredients
I think about the first guy who ever shaved
And how many times did he shave before the second guy caved?
I think about if a friend were choking on ice
“Just be patient” would be the best advice
I think about that moment when I'm drifting off to sleep
And then my body jerks and I'm falling suddenly
I wonder if that's a defense mechanism for something
Like when you're sleeping on a cliff, or just top-bunking
Sometimes I think how old guys like to whittle
And how if I start now and just whittle a little
My whittling skills will hone before I get old
And I'll pwn all my friends at the retirement home
I think of all the places that a penny has been
Like, seriously, think of all the places that a penny's been in
It could've been in the pocket of the President's suit
But it's probably also been in some toddler's poop
'Cause little kids eat pennies like they're Flintstone Vitamins
Accruing no interest while traveling inside of 'em
Re-entering circulation might boost the economy
But I'd rather not pay with a penny that's performed a colonoscopy
I think that our universe is really one of many
With many parallel me's, stretching to infinity
Doing activities, similarly to me
Yet, at the same time, done slightly differently
And seemingly, right now, they could be
Thinking this same thought as me
Well, a similar thought, but not the same thought exactly
That's pretty deep