[Verse 1: Earl]
Welcome to my home, the place that I hate
The place that I love, the Planet of the Apes
The place that I loathe, the boy minus father
Equals boy minus heart, always testing mama
Mic sessions thrash, life lessons trashed
Nights get cold as the knife that I grab
Zoom to your wife room take her life with a stab
Sure her ass look nice, it'd look nicer in a bag
And slung over shoulder, village slum soldier
Bayonet bloods when my cup runneth over
With sith lord dark side of the force
In the trunk of a Porsche tryna butt fuck Yoda
Shotgun, drop T, Earl flow shogun
Jabbing with a pen while you faggots getting toes done
Hold up, I was four going on grown up
So before you niggas tell me I'm nuts, you better grow some, faggot

[Hook]
Fuck this Christmas
Fuck this Christmas (Nigga fuck Santa Claus)
Fuck this Christmas
Ain't nothing for you (Ain't no gift for you)

[Verse 2: Tyler]
Crazy mothafuckas in the North Pole causing ruckus
And the punk nut-crackers couldn't cuff us, how I fuck her
It was quiet how I stepped in, I crept in with my cock out
Now she's having make-out sessions with my weapons
Drunk a fifth of eggnog, stole Santa's reindeer
Joy-rode the North Pole, steering is a bitch so
I hopped out and ask some Jasper elves for some info
Where I can burn some Christmas trees with large amounts of thick snow
I've been acting naughty problem child in attendance
John Ritter said he taught me how to mothafuck a Christmas
Dismissing all the wanting and the presents are forsaken
See if you're the gift from God then I'm the Christmas wrap from Satan
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