I Just Don’t Care Victoria Wood

A girlfriend phoned me up the other day
She said, "My love life is in disarray
I never feel any thrill
My orgasm rate is nil
Tell me what do you say?"

A few years back it could be guaranteed
I would have 'What a Shame'd and 'Deary Me'd
Drooled sympathy and support
And said without thought 'I ought'
But now there's no need

I just told her, "I don't care."
We've all got a cross to bare
People's dreary lives
Are the biggest bore
So don't come back
Anymore

An old schoolmate of whom I once was fond
Told me her marriage was a stagnant pond
"My husband just sits and picks
His teeth with old lolly sticks
And I feel I've been conned."

Now once I would have said, "Oh, I agree
The man's a pervert, come and live with me."
And comforted and cajoled
And let all my chips get cold
But now I feel free