Michael: It is Friday morning and it is another beautiful day in Scranton, Pennsylvania. [sees man in a turban outside] Oh my God. Ohhh. [dials phone number] Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Oh, we have a serious problem here. [goes out onto office floor] Alright everybody, lock the doors, turn off the lights. Pretend you're not here.
Jim: Are we in danger?
Michael: There's no time to think about if this is real. Just, shh, everybody. [knock at the front door]
Kevin: Michael, should I call the... [Michael waves his hands] What?
Michael: The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a great start.
Michael: Yeah, I tried to install it myself, but, uh, you guys have these things so password-protected...
Sadiq (IT guy): That just means you have to enter your password.
Michael: Oh...
Sadiq (IT guy): What's your password, Michael?
Michael: Oh, umm... [looks at Post-It on computer]
Sadiq (IT guy): Oh, it's 1-2-3.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Mi-
Michael: AH! Guh-oood.
Dwight: Sorry.
Michael: Please don't do that.
Dwight: Ok, I'm sorry. What is going on in there? Why is he here? What are you doing?
Michael: I can't tell you.
Dwight: You have to tell me.
Michael: I don't have to tell you anything.
Dwight: Look, Michael, I know you don't want to have to think about this, but if something were to happen to you, God forbid, then I would need to know in order to take over.
Michael: Dwight, nothing is going to happen to me, ok? I'm in the best shape of my life. Look at this. [flexes his arms] Brrr! That's strong!
Dwight: Yeah, but that doesn't matter, you could get a brain aneurysm-
Michael: I'm not going get a brain-
Dwight: Or get hit by a car-
Michael: Stop it.
Dwight: Or a bus or a train. Get poisoned, fall in a well, step on a mine, choke.
Michael: Uh, oh, ok; if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die, you can have my job, ok? Why don't you just go... away?
Jim: Are we in danger?
Michael: There's no time to think about if this is real. Just, shh, everybody. [knock at the front door]
Kevin: Michael, should I call the... [Michael waves his hands] What?
Michael: The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a great start.
Michael: Yeah, I tried to install it myself, but, uh, you guys have these things so password-protected...
Sadiq (IT guy): That just means you have to enter your password.
Michael: Oh...
Sadiq (IT guy): What's your password, Michael?
Michael: Oh, umm... [looks at Post-It on computer]
Sadiq (IT guy): Oh, it's 1-2-3.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Mi-
Michael: AH! Guh-oood.
Dwight: Sorry.
Michael: Please don't do that.
Dwight: Ok, I'm sorry. What is going on in there? Why is he here? What are you doing?
Michael: I can't tell you.
Dwight: You have to tell me.
Michael: I don't have to tell you anything.
Dwight: Look, Michael, I know you don't want to have to think about this, but if something were to happen to you, God forbid, then I would need to know in order to take over.
Michael: Dwight, nothing is going to happen to me, ok? I'm in the best shape of my life. Look at this. [flexes his arms] Brrr! That's strong!
Dwight: Yeah, but that doesn't matter, you could get a brain aneurysm-
Michael: I'm not going get a brain-
Dwight: Or get hit by a car-
Michael: Stop it.
Dwight: Or a bus or a train. Get poisoned, fall in a well, step on a mine, choke.
Michael: Uh, oh, ok; if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die, you can have my job, ok? Why don't you just go... away?
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