Selfiestixamitosis Möngöl Hörde

Good afternoon children well it's lovely to meet you
For the next three minutes I'm your substitute teacher
I'm not afraid of cliches
I'll be trying to reach you
Through the medium of interpretive dance moves

You put your left foot in
And you shake it about
But the crucial thing's to
Resist the urge to scream and to shout
And to watch the other dancers
When you take it back out
Enough to try the things you know that you can't do

Shimmy, shimmy
You've got the narcissistic shakes
Selfiestixamitosis
??

Weak knees and dislocated arms
And a gait that seems to hint that you got fucked on a farm(?)
But I suppose your idiosyncrasy has a curious charm
In the talent show of first round auditions

Because today we're in a serious classroom
Working on the skills that you acquire in the ballroom
In real life you can't just go and hide in the bathroom
And contemplate your own reflection