When I Was A Lad Allan Sherman

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When I was a lad I went to Yale
And I knew then that I could never fail
For I studied very hard and furthermore
I polished up the apple for the professor
(He polished up the apple for the professor)

I polished up the apple so frequently
That soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key
(He soon had a Phi Beta Kappa key
From polishing the apple very frequently.)

On graduation day I made a stop
At a very exclusive clothing shop
I opened up a charge account and asked them for
The best grade flannel in the clothing store
(The best grade flannel in the clothing store.)

That suit was a part of a great intrigue
For it proved I was a member of the Ivy League
(It was part of a great intrigue
For it proved he was a member of the Ivy League.)

Then I got a crew cut and a sincere tie
And for my first job I did apply
A job in an advertising agency
Sharpening the pencils of a big VP
(Oh he honed a lot of pencils for a big VP)