Christmas comes but once a year
And mostly it is swell
But there’s an epidemic
That I think we all know well
Your smile is frozen open
There’s a crazed look in your eye
You overflow with compliments
While trying to deny
That you loathe the gift you opened
Though you try to keep your grace
Your scary grin is frozen
Don’t you know you’ve got a case of
Present Face, present face, present face, present face… Oh thank you so much!
You really hoped your parents would
Give you great big check
Instead you got a puffy painted
Hummingbird turtleneck
You hoped for an engagement ring
Inside that tiny box
But your asshole former future husband
Only bought you socks
Now your face is all contorted
As you're trying to erase
The truth behind your smile
Don’t you know you’ve got a case of
And mostly it is swell
But there’s an epidemic
That I think we all know well
Your smile is frozen open
There’s a crazed look in your eye
You overflow with compliments
While trying to deny
That you loathe the gift you opened
Though you try to keep your grace
Your scary grin is frozen
Don’t you know you’ve got a case of
Present Face, present face, present face, present face… Oh thank you so much!
You really hoped your parents would
Give you great big check
Instead you got a puffy painted
Hummingbird turtleneck
You hoped for an engagement ring
Inside that tiny box
But your asshole former future husband
Only bought you socks
Now your face is all contorted
As you're trying to erase
The truth behind your smile
Don’t you know you’ve got a case of
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