Then What Neil Cicierega (Ft. Neil Cicierega)

One of my earliest memories is asking my parents, "Mom? dad? How long is life?"

They're kind of distracted and dad says, "Oh 70, 80, 90 years. Maybe even a hundred."

And I say, "Oh. Then what?"

Mom and dad look at each other, they're kinda worried, they say, "You're too little to know that. It would just make you sad."

So I think, "Okay. I'll just wait until I'm bigger, then I'll ask again." So every time I get myself measured, if I'm bigger, I ask my parents again, "What happens after life?"

They always say the same thing or they just change the subject.

Finally, one day, I'm eighteen years old, packing to go to college. I ask my parents, "Now will you tell me what happens after life?"

They just furrow their brows, and they tell me, "Your life is just getting started. So many exciting things are gonna happen for you. We don't want to rain on your parade."

And I'm like, "Th-that's bullshit! I'm not a child. I can handle knowledge! If I'm gonna start my life, I just wanna know what it's all leading up to! What's wrong with that?"

And they just say, "Oh, look at him saying all these important things like a big boy!"

I get pissed off and I start yelling at them, "W-what happens after life? What the fuck happens?"

And they just keep saying, "Oh, he's so cute when he starts stompin' around, huffin' and puffin'!"

So I just say, "Fuck it." and I leave for college and never talk my parents again.