There Ain’t Nothing Like A Dick Team StarKid (Ft. Devin Lytle & Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia)

[OLD SNATCH, spoken]
Alright, Ms. Cooter. Let me tell yous a thing or two's about dicks!

(sung)
A dick can act real sweet
A dick can bat his eyes
He can tell you you're the one
But that dick's just full of lies

A dick's, a dick's, a dick's
A dick's, a dick, it's true
But you ain't never gonna
Find the dick for you!

A dick can hit you hard

[MS. COOTER]
Oooh, a dick can hit you fast!
A dick can bring you love

[OLD SNATCH]
But that dick can't make it last

[MS. COOTER]
There's a dick for every puss
Lots of fish in the sea