[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
WINSTON CHURCHILL!
VERSUS!
THEODORE ROOSEVELT!
BEGIN!
[Theodore Roosevelt]
Bully! A challenge! I love competition!
Now where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston?
I'm into fitness, digging ditches through an isthmus!
Rough ridin' down to Cuba like "What's up, Bitches?!"
I keep my rhymes pure, like my food and drugs
I'm an American stud, and you're the British Elmer Fudd!
I mean, for Christ's sake! Look at that mug!
At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!
And let's face it, you're not all that great
You tossed away lives in Gallipoli like they were scraps off your plate!
Your whole miserable country is the size of one state!
I could see my way through running that without donning my Pince-nez!
Don't go toe to toe with me, you bloated drunk old man
Why don't you Do-Si-Do on over to a 12 step program?
I'll bust a trust fund lush with my American muscles
So walk softly over here and give my big stick a suckles!
[Winston Churchill]
Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy
I'm about to take you out prematurely, like your family
I'm the Rhyme Minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket
You look like a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet!
I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness
While you were back home, opening national parks, yes!
You were born asthmatic, you're going to choke hard
While I wake up every day and chain smoke cigars!
I'll fight you on the beaches, I'll fight you on the beats, yes!
Any way you want to fight, I'll fight ya and I'll beat ya, see?
I might be battling you even though I'm toasted
But tomorrow, I'll be sober and you'll still be roasted!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
WINSTON CHURCHILL!
VERSUS!
THEODORE ROOSEVELT!
BEGIN!
[Theodore Roosevelt]
Bully! A challenge! I love competition!
Now where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston?
I'm into fitness, digging ditches through an isthmus!
Rough ridin' down to Cuba like "What's up, Bitches?!"
I keep my rhymes pure, like my food and drugs
I'm an American stud, and you're the British Elmer Fudd!
I mean, for Christ's sake! Look at that mug!
At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!
And let's face it, you're not all that great
You tossed away lives in Gallipoli like they were scraps off your plate!
Your whole miserable country is the size of one state!
I could see my way through running that without donning my Pince-nez!
Don't go toe to toe with me, you bloated drunk old man
Why don't you Do-Si-Do on over to a 12 step program?
I'll bust a trust fund lush with my American muscles
So walk softly over here and give my big stick a suckles!
[Winston Churchill]
Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy
I'm about to take you out prematurely, like your family
I'm the Rhyme Minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket
You look like a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet!
I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness
While you were back home, opening national parks, yes!
You were born asthmatic, you're going to choke hard
While I wake up every day and chain smoke cigars!
I'll fight you on the beaches, I'll fight you on the beats, yes!
Any way you want to fight, I'll fight ya and I'll beat ya, see?
I might be battling you even though I'm toasted
But tomorrow, I'll be sober and you'll still be roasted!
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